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shi yi

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My head. My heart.

Date: Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Time: 9:32 AM


Why do I feel that I’m not appreciated ? Why do I feel that he is just fitting me into his activities ? Why do I feel that I am not one of his activities ?

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Why do I still feel that I’m the boyfriend and he is the girlfriend ? Why do I still feel that he isn’t putting much effort ? Why do I still feel that I’m alone in this relationship ?

I’m depressed .

Am I thinking too much ? Am I caring too much ? Am I not mature enough to handle such a relationship ?

Is it me ?

No , it can’t be . Can it ?

It happened again . Pre and post exam . No messages . No calls . If there were calls , it would be a miserable 7 minute call . Why do I feel that those 7 minutes are not sufficient ? Should it exceed 7 minutes ?

All of a sudden . I’m confused . Should it be this way ? or shouldn’t it ? Have I been influenced by Korean dramas ? But I’ve only watched one or two Korean series so far .

What if we were just normal friends ? What if I ended the relationship ? Something’s wrong .

NO NO NO . Stop thinking negatively . He is a fine person . Think of the good times . Remember that he drives from UM to spend time with you . He handmade roses for you on Valentine’s Day . He kinda paid for all the Chicken Essence you bought for exam purposes .

Its just so depressing whenever he chooses friends over me . And I am in no position to stop him from choosing his friends .

My head’s telling me , “ End it” . My heart’s telling me , “ don’t care so much” .

To tell you the truth , I really feel like ending it now . But how ? What will happen ? What if it turned out to be a mistake to let him go ? I don’t want to beg him to accept me .

What the heck … leave the situation be and hope for a miracle .


He asked me out :]

I think its the post exam nothing-to-do-ness that's messing with my head .

Posted by Paus are delicious